A Second Inspiration

 “Are not five sparrows sold for two copper coins? And not one of them is forgotten before God.” Luke‬ ‭12:6‬ 

     Yet another inspiration occurred.  This happened due to the fact that for the past month or so I had been flooding my husband’s messages with posts of dogs, cats, kittens, a horse and even a rabbit. Why? I missed the companionship and responsibility of farming. With all that has been going on, with all the stress and trials I am struggling to work through, I kept asking myself, ‘Why is this so hard for me to get through? Why can’t I get my emotions in check? Why I am having these outbursts?’ And it was then that I realized that I had been surrounded by animals my entire life.  God had used them to comfort and encourage me my entire growing up years. They were my furry little stress relief balls and now, for the first time in my life, I was experiencing rough waves without them. 

     I have Marm and Sheba but they can only take so much cuddles before starting to drown. Don’t get me wrong; Sheba has been a wonderful blessing.  She is attentive; she mews softly as if asking what is wrong or how can she help; her gentle purrs are like a healing balm and her cuddles help to melt away my troubles. She is an amazing cat. Marm tends to get overwhelmed and/ or dramatic with change or too much attention. He wants it when he wants it and that is that! He is darling though when he wants to be. 

     A coworker gave me the idea to foster. In this way, I would not have to commit long term; could still help out by saving a critter’s life and enjoy that animal companionship. It would be a win win situation.

     I reached out to a few shelters and rescues receiving a reply from just one. It was from a post regarding a little Siamese kitten as well as a mama and her four kittens. And it seemed to me that they were coming from the most dire of situations. An outdoor shelter in some of the worst Texas heater have experienced in June. The woman in charge connected me with a rescue with whom I filled out an application. Just a few days later, I was scheduled to pick up the mama and her four kittens. Thankfully, another rescue tagged the Siamese kitten. 

     Our time for pickup June 15th went from 8PM to 9:45PM to 10:45PM and, finally, to 11:32PM. My husband’s mom most graciously watched our daughter as we headed out to pick up our new wards. An hour later, we arrived home with five worn out kitties. Mama received her flea prevention and dewormer. The kittens received their first Dawn soap bath. With meds given and kittens dried off and settled, I washed up and went to bed, my sweet Sheba snuggled beside me. And thus began my fostering adventure. 

Through the Valleys

 "Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death." Psalm 23: 4

    Disappointment. Trauma. Pain. Loss. Grief.  These are but a scrape of words that describe what this year has been like for me.  My intent for this post and each post from henceforth is to process my thoughts, refresh my writing skills, bring healing to my heart, and bring hope and light to those who read this.

    I desire to be real yet I am uncertain how to proceed.  Will this detail be too much? Will that one be too little? Should I do this at all? These are a few of the thoughts that penetrate my thinking.  Yet I know that this is what I want to do, what I should do. I need to move forward with writing to process and to heal.  Once that has been attained, I will then have the ability to help others who are experiencing what I have gone through and felt. I will be able to extend compassion and empathy to the hurting heart.

    I am writing not to incite pity nor spite but to inspire hope.  To believe that there is a reason, that there is good that can come from every last tear and heartache.  I need to be able to look back, to review each moment in search of God's fingerprint, His presence in those utterly heart wrenching moments.  

    I will only write a smidgen today. And that, I think, will be in regards to the desk. What is so important about a desk?  I had passively been thinking about the possibility of moving my husband's computer into our tiny house.  With each reoccurring thought, I waved it away, persuading myself that I would be attempting an impossible goal. A little over a week ago, I entertained the idea of rearranging our kitchen/cat area to fit a desk. There is a convenient app which gleans from others a list of free things- one which I quite enjoy scrolling through. I had seen a few desks for free but they had already been claimed.  I had a flicker of inspiration. What if I found a desk for me to be able to write while my husband can also game on his computer? What if I could find some healing through writing? What if I could acquire a part time job writing?  The ideas rushed one right after the other. My first glimmer of hope had broken through.  

    One morning during my devotion time, I prayed and asked God for a desk. I continued on with my day as usual- make breakfast, tidy up, take care of the baby and so on. Later that afternoon, just ten to fifteen minutes after my husband arrived home from work, I scrolled through the app... again.  And right there  popped up a cute, espresso-colored desk for free. I immediately reached out and two hours later, we were driving back home with my new answer to prayer! My second glimmer of hope burst through.  A dream- my dream- to have a place to write and to type had come true.