Through the Valleys

 "Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death." Psalm 23: 4

    Disappointment. Trauma. Pain. Loss. Grief.  These are but a scrape of words that describe what this year has been like for me.  My intent for this post and each post from henceforth is to process my thoughts, refresh my writing skills, bring healing to my heart, and bring hope and light to those who read this.

    I desire to be real yet I am uncertain how to proceed.  Will this detail be too much? Will that one be too little? Should I do this at all? These are a few of the thoughts that penetrate my thinking.  Yet I know that this is what I want to do, what I should do. I need to move forward with writing to process and to heal.  Once that has been attained, I will then have the ability to help others who are experiencing what I have gone through and felt. I will be able to extend compassion and empathy to the hurting heart.

    I am writing not to incite pity nor spite but to inspire hope.  To believe that there is a reason, that there is good that can come from every last tear and heartache.  I need to be able to look back, to review each moment in search of God's fingerprint, His presence in those utterly heart wrenching moments.  

    I will only write a smidgen today. And that, I think, will be in regards to the desk. What is so important about a desk?  I had passively been thinking about the possibility of moving my husband's computer into our tiny house.  With each reoccurring thought, I waved it away, persuading myself that I would be attempting an impossible goal. A little over a week ago, I entertained the idea of rearranging our kitchen/cat area to fit a desk. There is a convenient app which gleans from others a list of free things- one which I quite enjoy scrolling through. I had seen a few desks for free but they had already been claimed.  I had a flicker of inspiration. What if I found a desk for me to be able to write while my husband can also game on his computer? What if I could find some healing through writing? What if I could acquire a part time job writing?  The ideas rushed one right after the other. My first glimmer of hope had broken through.  

    One morning during my devotion time, I prayed and asked God for a desk. I continued on with my day as usual- make breakfast, tidy up, take care of the baby and so on. Later that afternoon, just ten to fifteen minutes after my husband arrived home from work, I scrolled through the app... again.  And right there  popped up a cute, espresso-colored desk for free. I immediately reached out and two hours later, we were driving back home with my new answer to prayer! My second glimmer of hope burst through.  A dream- my dream- to have a place to write and to type had come true.